QUESTION: If I’m not pumped about the bachelorette party that my MOH and maids are planning, should I say something? And how do I suggest what I’d like to do without sounding like a bridezilla?
Kaella's Answer: I recommend having a conversation with the host of your bachelorette party. Not everyone wants to go to Las Vegas or see men dancing half naked on-stage. Since this is a bachelorette party for you, it’s perfectly reasonable to have a few boundaries. Though avoid micromanaging them, so they can have fun with the planning and maybe even incorporate a couple surprises for you.
Another suggestion to avoid sounding like a “bridezilla”: don’t let the planning get to far underway before you speak up. I highly suggest setting your boundaries and providing a few ideas that interest you right at the get go to give them the foundation for what type of bachelorette celebration you would like. Consider the budget when making recommendations. Not everyone can afford a flight to Bali for a week long bachelorette vacation. At the same time, they are expected to spend some money on your bachelorette party, so the reasonable part goes both ways. Either way, try to go with the flow on your bachelorette party night, and just enjoy spending time with your close friends.
Rachel's Answer: YES! They want you to have a good time and would be disappointed to find out later that you weren’t happy with the plans. Best-case scenario, they’d ask you what you want before they start planning, but if they don’t, there’s nothing wrong with telling them what you want (or don’t want) when the topic comes up. For example, when my friends brought up bachelorette party ideas, I said things like, “A penis hat is not something I’d like to ever wear” and “I’d rather take a cool workout class with you girls and then get manicures and pedicures than have a guy putting his banana hammock getting all up in my face.” As long as you aren’t demanding they plan something super elaborate or expensive (once they’ve already planned something else), it won’t be a problem.
About our Kaella & Rachel:Kaella Wilson is the founder of Kaella Lynn Events, a wedding planning and design boutique based in San Francisco. She believes the difference is in the details. Whether you’re planning a grand event or an intimate celebration, Kaella combines artistic design with meticulous planning and management to produce a memorable event that represents your style. Follow her on twitter @KaellalynnRachel Wilkerson is a writer and community manager living in sin in Houston, TX. She also happens to be planning her wedding! You can see more of her writing on her brand-new blog The House Always Wins. Follow her on twitter @RachelGettingIt.
Need more wedding advice? Read Kaella and Rachel’s previous posts:
- How do you (politely) stop your future in-laws from taking over your wedding planning?
- How do you tell a friend she won’t be a part of your bridal party?
- Is it okay to not allow children at your wedding?
- Should the bride and groom pay for the wedding party’s attire?
- What should I do if my MOH is slacking?
- What do you tell your family when you don’t want a wedding?
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