It seems like every month there's a new scandalously intriguing email chain or text message war between an overzealous bride and her guests/family/bridesmaids. Remember this jaw-droppingly rude texting battle between two brides and a guest over a wedding gift? Yeah. Luckily for us, we get to see these ceaselessly entertaining flame wars once one party gets so fed up, they decide to forward their exchange to Gawker. And there's a new bridezilla on the block, kiddos.
We already tweeted about this and alluded to the post on our Sunday roundup, but this story deserves a whole blog post by itself. Here's a lowdown of what happened:
- Friend gets engaged.
- Promises of a gorgeous wedding and the power of being Queen Bee (aka the bride) goes to her head.
- Bridesmaids get afraid, very afraid.
- Bridesmaids get weird kidding-not-kidding emails about weekly weigh-ins, tattoo removal options, and cease-and-desist orders if they want a haircut.
- Wedding is over. Bridesmaids don't talk to the bride anymore.
- One little bridesmaid sends the email chain along to Gawker.
- Here we are!
Here's the deal: you MUST read this article if you're ever going to be a bride or bridesmaid in the future. Or, if you have any friends who are about to become bridesmaids. Seriously, it's terrifying. And it's also a great read to help brides and bridesmaids everywhere keep weddings in perspective. Here's some favorite quotes:
"No-one can be skinner than the bride. That means Kelly and Lizzie will be on a protein weight gainer diet exclusively until May. I will have the nutritionist call you to discuss diet plans."
"Hair cuts: If you plan on chopping off your locks, please submit your proposed new look prior to any actions (this applies to coloring as well)."
"I was thinking that we should start a daily google docs, where everyone can update in real time their daily calorie content. Due to exams, I have not been the very best at requesting our weekly weigh-ins but thought the food calculator would be a great way for me to monitor everyone's caloric in take. Thoughts?"
"Just kidding bitches, well, sorta."
One thing that really stands out to me here is the way this bride wants all her bridesmaids to look a certain way. While I understand Pinterest has given us all slightly unrealistic visions of the big day in our head, it's frankly terrifying how this bride's vision of her big day translates into the way she talks about her bridesmaids' appearances. I mean, she's kind of objectifying them into things that stand next to her on the big day, rather than friends who are helping her celebrate the big day. Right?
Another thing that's a little scary is the short-sightedness of this whole exchange. I mean, these bridesmaids are this bride's friends...or at least, they were. I think many women out there would agree with me when I say that friendship is too high a price to pay for the perfect day.
Now, obviously this is a super extreme and exaggerated case of bridezilla-dom. Yet while exaggerated, this story does show the ugly side and scary themes of weddings: the idea that bridesmaids are a bride's "bitches", that it's okay to ignore standard social etiquette when planning your wedding, and that there's such a thing as a "perfect" day. Weddings are awesome, but reality checks are needed for everyone from time to time.
What do you think, brides and bridesmaids? Do you have similar stories? What do you think is important to remember when planning a wedding?
Photo via Paper Antler
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